" Self esteem and knowledge" is the best way of combating the anxiety about having a small penis

" Self esteem and knowledge" is the best way of combating the anxiety about having a small penis - A leading Cuban sexologist Saturday urged young men who are worried about the size of their penis not to take advantage of the communist nation's free health care to have surgery to enlarge their manhood.

"It is not necessary that the penis be so long to encourage a woman... because she has many areas of erotic stimulation," said Ramiro Fragas, a sex expert at the Ministry of Public Health.

He made his recommendation in a full-page interview in Juventud Rebelde, the newspaper of Cuban youth, after becoming alarmed at "significant" demand from young men for penis enlargement operations.

Although such surgeries are free they require approval from a team of doctors and health experts.

Patients are treated in a hospital in Havana in 2010. A leading Cuban sexologist Saturday urged young men who are worried about the size of their penis not to take advantage of the communist nation's free health care to have surgery to enlarge their manhood. (AFP Photo/Str)

He also stated that the average Cuban man's penis, 11 to 15 centimeters (four to six inches), according to medical data, was in line with international averages.

And Fragas cautioned that the benefits of such treatment is usually less than desired.

"At most, one or two centimeters," he said, warning of negative after-effects relating to the aesthetics of the male member.

After assessing "dozens" of surgery requests, Fragas said Cuban surgeons had conducted penis enlargement surgery on 20 male patients on account of birth defects or other medical problems.

"Self esteem and knowledge" is the best way of combating the anxiety about having a small penis, Fragas concluded ( AFP )

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Raising girls today

Raising girls today - “A girl’s got to know she is loved.” That was my grandmother’s counsel as she watched my father tenderly take his infant daughter into his arms for the first time. “Always, always remember that a girl’s got to know that she is loved.” I’m told he promised me, cradled in his arms, that he would tell me every night that he loved me. He kept that promise, daily, until he passed on almost 40 years later.

As a recent Monitor feature on raising girls explores, in an age of complexity; quick-paced, tantalizing marketing; media messaging; and social networking; it’s easy to lose sight of the fundamentals. Yet my grandmother’s sage advice is still foundational to the raising of strong, gracious, intelligent, confident, healthy young women (and men as well). It’s simple: They must know they are loved.

A child’s rock-solid conviction of knowing he or she is loved needs to go deeper than a human love, which can be wavering, conditional, volatile. It cannot be achieved through a fragile, emotional love based on personal beauty, body type, passion, or sensuality. And I believe the only way to this inner confidence is to develop one’s natural, spiritual intuition – one’s relationship with God, who is the source of all love. In fact, God is Love. What could be more validating for children than to know that their amazing and unique self is approved of and adored by their Father-Mother, God, who created them.

Mary Baker Eddy, an advocate of women’s rights, established the Monitor and founded the Christian Science movement – no easy feat for a woman in the late 1800s. She wrote in the Christian Science textbook: “ ‘God is Love.’ More than this we cannot ask, higher we cannot look, farther we cannot go” (“Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures,” p. 6).

She taught that each of us has an inseparable relationship with divine Love, and that we exist as the expression of Love. The fact that God is universal, impartial, all-nurturing Love challenges scholastic theology, based on the Adam and Eve allegory, that depicts God bringing a curse on womankind. It reverses for all ages this belief that woman is condemned, inferior, and less valued and loved.

The spiritual education essential to parenting brings a closeness to God that gives a young girl a strong, steady foundation. Knowing her coexistence with God, her best friend, keeps her grounded, balanced, and helps her make sound choices; she learns to say no to destructive influences and to say yes to God’s infinite possibilities, always available to her. She learns to protect her God-given purity, to value and identify herself as expressing His attributes of courage, creativity, gentleness, honesty, and sound reasoning.

I was the beneficiary of a father who communicated his love to his infant daughter. But my dad’s love only hints at the universal love, the all-encompassing love of our Father-Mother, who is telling each of us, moment by moment, that we are loved and approved of. A psalm says, “The king’s daughter is all glorious within” (45:13). All glorious – all happy, bright, kind, obedient, orderly, and radiating light, balanced in every way. There is no room for defiance and rebellion, fear, limitation, or insecurity. God’s daughter knows she is safe. She knows she is loved. ( csmonitor.com )

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Why I Want to Marry Rich

Why I Want to Marry Rich - In our Money Mic series, we present an essay from someone with a bold opinion on a money topic. Past editions have included conversations about how living together will affect your finances, why “homesteading” could be a new feminist career and why the CARD Act may actually hurt women. In this latest Money Mic, we spoke to one woman who tells us outright that she wants to marry rich.

The views expressed here are those of the essayist and not the LearnVest staff, but we look forward to opening the floor to debate and discussion. Tell us what you think in the comments below.

Money is a core value and a deal breaker, like religion or children. A lot of people would sympathize if I said I didn’t want to marry someone because he didn’t want kids or his religious beliefs clashed with mine, but it’s a lot less socially acceptable to say that I wouldn’t want to marry someone who is poor.

Money is a divisive factor—on a global scale the pursuit of it causes wars and crime, and on a personal level it leads to immense stress. My mother grew up in near poverty, so she replies to “money can’t buy happiness” with, “No? Try going without it.”

I never intend to do so—I plan to marry rich.*

“Marrying for money” gets a bad rap because it sounds so mercenary. It’s implied that in marrying for money, you sell yourself to the highest bidder, regardless of the person holding the auction paddle. You then enter a lifetime of derision and emotional sacrifice, eschewing true happiness in favor of in-season Manolos. For me, a college-educated, generally rational woman, marrying for money isn’t at the expense of all else—it’s just a priority. Having that priority, my potential husbands are self-selecting. They, like me, are people who both have and value money.

You see, “marrying rich” isn’t about draping myself in diamonds and paying for superfluous cosmetic surgeries. It’s about being able to protect myself and my family from whatever expenses the world may throw at us: medical issues, legal problems, retirement. And in doing that, I will still be able to live in comfort, to give my children every advantage, and to seize opportunities like travel, investments and tickets to The Book of Mormon, but without incurring debt or sacrificing the basics in favor of the luxurious.

And I am not alone. A January 2011 study conducted by the London School of Economics and published by the Centre for Policy Studies found that in the half-century of feminist progress between the 1940s and the 1990s, the percentage of women “marrying up,” if you will, has nearly doubled. Granted, the exact percentages were taken from the UK, but I’ll go out on a limb and theorize that globalization doesn’t stop at worldwide Baywatch reruns. So if the battle for social equality has run parallel to an increase in women looking for wealthy partners, why haven’t women jumped the track and made it their mission to acquire their own assets? Because they don’t have to.

To allay your doubts, I am a staunch feminist at every turn. To me, feminism is the belief that women are people who deserve basic and equivalent rights in accordance with those granted to the opposite sex. That’s all. So before dismissing my choices as anti-feminist, break them down. I choose to protect my family to the best of my ability; to avoid a lifetime of corporate busywork and contribute in a less-lucrative but more passionate manner; to prioritize my home and family over my career.

In light of your (presumed) insistence that I can work and have a family–that I can have it all–I might point out that phrase is outdated by at least 20 years. With the encroaching of work into American home life and the always-present second shift, life doesn’t get easier for women as time marches on; it just gets difficult in new and frustrating ways. I plan to eliminate the shift that means the least to me (work) in favor of doing my absolute best in the other two (my family and home). Instead of squeaking by in all three, I will delegate.

As you’ve no doubt gathered by now, I know that mine isn’t a popular point of view. To brandish it at a cocktail party would be social suicide—which is why I’ve decided to write this piece under a pseudonym. I recognize that some women choose to give their heart and soul to their careers, and that others embrace their True Love, even if he—or she—lives in a studio and substitute teaches to support a career in Impressionist sculpture. Somehow it has come about that either of those life paths are considered more virtuous than marrying for money. But that’s okay. I never wanted to be virtuous—just rich. ( learnvest.com )

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Can you die from laughter ... ???

Can you die from laughter ... ??? - Be careful how hard you laugh at some of this summer’s blockbuster comedies. "Bridesmaids," "Horrible Bosses" or "The Hangover" sequel could just be the death of you.

“Years ago, I went to see 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' with a friend and I thought I was going to die laughing,” says Jim Dailakis, a 41-year-old comedian from Queens, N.Y. “We had this brutal karate instructor who looked just like this little golden head that Harrison Ford holds up at one point. I saw that head and started howling like a girl. And then I couldn’t catch my breath and had to think of something else so I wouldn’t pass out.”

Dailakis, who says he’s usually goaded into uncontrollable laughing fits by his buddies, says he’s actually blacked out laughing over the years.

“The first time it happened, I thought I was going to die,” he says. “I was on my knees laughing, and then suddenly I couldn’t breathe. It was scary and freaky but I couldn’t stop laughing. And then I began to weep uncontrollably and I thought that was so hilarious, I went into another manic fit of laughter. My friend was laughing so hard, he had to leave the room.”

Can you die from laughter ... ???

After that, Dailakis saw stars -- then passed out.

“The next thing I knew, I was lying down and looking up,” he says. “And I could still hear my friend laughing in the next room.”

According to Dr. Martin Samuels, professor of neurology at Harvard Medical School, blacking out while laughing may be related to over-breathing, and is probably not too dangerous.

“This is most likely benign and unlikely that it would lead to death,” he says.

But that doesn’t mean death doesn’t sometimes wear a smile. In the third century B.C., the Greek philosopher Chrysippus was said to have died laughing after getting his donkey drunk on wine. More recently, a Danish audiologist died laughing in 1989 while watching "A Fish Called Wanda." (It's also the subject of an old Monty Python sketch, in which a writer pens the "funniest joke in the world" -- and immediately dies.)

“Happy news is just as dangerous as sad news with regard to the risk of sudden death,” he says. “I have cases of people who died after hitting holes in one, after bowling perfect 300 games and upon hearing the words ‘Not Guilty.’ Death during sexual activity is also well known. Ecstasy, happiness and good news are definitely risky.”

Why would good news or happy circumstances put us at risk? It’s all about that old fight-or-flight response, he says.

“Extreme excitement, whether that be sadness or happiness activates the part of the brain that’s responsible for the flight or fight response to threats in the wild,” he says. “This releases a natural chemical -- adrenaline -- which in large animals can be toxic to various organs, in particular the heart.”

As a result, extremely strong emotional states -- whether positive or negative -- can be harmful to the heart, on rare occasions causing an abnormal rhythm which can be lethal.

Dailakis says his laughter blackouts used to bother him, but now that he knows what to expect, he’s not worried.

“Afterward, I feel exhausted but so alive,” he says. “I wouldn’t change it for the world. Why should I go to a doctor? It’s obviously a natural thing. It would be like telling the doctor, ‘I get turned on really easily. Can you stop that?’”

When's the last time you laughed so hard you couldn't catch your breath? What happened? Leave a comment telling us about it. ( msn.com )

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How To Read Her Body Language

How To Read Her Body Language - She might be too nice to flat out tell you to get lost, but her body language could be asking you to do just that. Find out if she’s attracted to you by interpreting what she’s nonverbally saying - Sadly, you haven’t been gifted with the powers of a Jedi Knight. If you had been, it’d be easy to approach women at a cocktail party or the Mos Eisley Cantina because you’d essentially be able to read — or control — her mind.

Luckily, however, you can read other parts of a woman’s body. The way she sits, or stands, or tilts her head can actually tell you a lot about what she’s thinking. It’s not quite clairvoyance, but it’s a reliable way of getting a leg up when you’re trying to impress.

So we asked Janine Driver to help. She’s a body language expert who used to sniff out BS from bad guys as a federal law enforcement officer with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives; and she’s the author of the New York Times bestseller You Say More Than You Think. Follow her tips and you’ll be able to tell if a woman is into you, or whether to stop wasting your time.

1. She’s showing you her belly button.

Yes, if her shirt is off, that’s probably a good sign. But we’re referring to The Belly Button Rule: If she’s facing it in your direction, she likes you. “If her belly button is toward the door, she wants out,” Driver says. “That’s called naval intelligence.” We really like Janine, so we didn’t tease her for making that joke.


2. She’s playing with her hair.

Some guys may find a woman playing with her hair to be, we dunno, like, kinda ditzy, or whatever. But she’s just trying to tell you she digs you. “She’s grooming herself because she cares about how she looks,” Driver explains.


3. She’s showing you her feet.

You’ve made her comfortable enough to trust that you’re not an ax-murdering monster, so whatever you’re doing, it’s working. “If her legs are crossed and her shoe is dangling off of her foot, it’s a good sign; she’s not planning on running away,” Driver says.


4. She’s not half-smiling.

If her smile consists of tight lips that are pulled back and up, stop what you’re doing, take a deep breath, and head for the hills. “A smirk shows contempt, which is moral superiority,” Driver notes. “She doesn’t think you should breathe the same air because you’re so beneath her. No matter what you do, it’s futile. A half-smile is the kiss of death.”


5. She’s touching you.

If you’re regaling her with wildly hilarious anecdotes and she doesn’t seem bored out of her skull, don’t throw in the towel simply because she’s keeping her hands to herself. ”She might always sit in a way that makes her look disinterested, or she might just be nervous,” Driver says. “But if she’s one way at first and her baseline changes, or she was touching you and then stopped, that’s when you should be concerned.” A way to test the theory? Take a piece of string that’ll stick out on your clothes and place it on your shoulder; if she attempts to take it off, she’s interested. If she tells you verbally, she’s just not that into you.


6. She’s looking down and to her right or left.

If her eyes are glancing down to her right, you could be turning her on. “There’s an emotion there,” Driver says. “If you see that, ask her if something’s on her mind.” Things change if she’s looking down and to the left. “In that case, she’s engaged in internal dialog, which could be, ‘Man, he’s so boring.’ Or, ‘I hope he likes me.’ Try reaching out, touching her arm, and saying, ‘Hey, I’m reading your mind, and I know you’re running through some things in your head. Want to let me in on it?”

(*This is true for right-handed women. It can be the opposite for lefties.)

7. She’s spreading out.

According to Driver, women like to take up less space than men. “Women don’t like their stuff everywhere, so if she starts to move her things into your territory, that’s good news; she’s opening up,” she says. ( modernman.com )

READ MORE - How To Read Her Body Language

Brooding Men, Smiling Women Seen As Sexy

Brooding Men, Smiling Women Seen As Sexy - Guys, want to look sexy and get the girl? Don't smile too much. Look brooding or show a bit of shame instead. Women, ignore that advice.

Women find happy men less sexually attractive than those with expressions that show pride or hint that they have done wrong and know it, according to Canadian researchers.

The study published online Tuesday in the American Psychological Association journal Emotion showed pictures of the opposite sex to both men and women. Participants were then asked for their initial reactions on sexual attractiveness based the expressions they saw.

"Men who smile were considered fairly unattractive by women," said Jessica Tracy, a University of British Columbia psychology professor who directed the study.

"So to the extent that men think that smiling is a good thing to do if they want to be found sexually attractive our findings suggest that's not the case," Tracy said.

The men's reaction was just the opposite.

"Women who smile are absolutely very attractive. That was by far the most attractive expression women showed," Tracy said in an interview.

The researchers admit they are not sure why men and women reacted differently to smiles. In a man, a big smile may make him appear too feminine or more desperate for sex.

The study also adds fuel to the notion that women are attracted to bad boys.

"Women are attracted to guys like James Dean, Edward the vampire. The guys who are flawed, but who know it and are tortured by it," Tracy said.

A slightly downcast expression of shame is an appeasement gesture that hints at a need for sympathy.

Men also found sexual attractiveness in women whose expressions and body language hinted at shame.

The researchers stressed they looked only at initial reactions of sexual attractiveness, and were not recommending men adopt a no-smile policy for a long-term relationship.

"When people want a long-term relationship they take much more into account than sexual attractiveness. How nice a person is, is a big thing," Tracy said.

"So we're not saying, don't be a nice guy," she said. ( huffingtonpost.com )

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How to deal with stress

How to deal with stress - Don't just accept stress as an inevitable part of modern life, urges Gill Edwards, a pioneer in 'conscious medicine'

Cause and effect 'Conscious medicine' is about making a connection between your mind and body. If we are physically ill it is mirroring something that is going on in our consciousness. Taking stressful thoughts out of your mind means they won't impact on your body. First establish what is causing the stress - be it work, family or partners - and, once you know that, you can start to deal with it

A learning experience It is my belief that everything that happens in our life is there to help us in some way - to make us learn and grow. So when our body falls ill, it means there is something we need to look at in our lives and heal

Repeat after me Ask yourself what beliefs you have that are making you work too hard, or leaving you worried about situations. There are all sorts of ways of shifting beliefs, such as affirmations. The subconscious learns by direct repetition. If you keep saying something often enough the subconscious takes it in. Phrases such as 'I'm safe' and 'I'm loved' are particularly effective. Most anxieties do seem to start because people feel unsafe or unloved

And relax When you are drifting off to sleep your subconscious is open, so whatever you say to yourself then will be easily absorbed. It is an ideal time to focus on what you want in life or what you feel grateful for - anything that makes you feel good. It is a bad time to worry about things, because you push more anxiety into your subconscious, giving you a bad night's sleep

Daydream believer When we are really stressed we tend to be in 'survival mode' and so we are focused on that particular day, but when we are not subject to the stress response we are much more able to focus on the future. If you visualise the long term - what you want in the future - your body will assume you are not under immediate threat and that will take you out of the stress response. Think happy daydreams for 15 minutes a day, of how you want your life to be - even if you don't yet know how you are going to get there

Get an energy boost If you suffer from chronic stress, one of the best methods to deal with it is through 'energy psychology'. It is a technique used by trained practitioners (you can find them at aamet.org) and involves tapping on your meridians (the energy lines that go through your body, which are also used in acupuncture) at the same time as thinking about the stressful event. It will help to take the trauma out of the body, and the body can then relax again and heal itself ( telegraph.co.uk )

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Half of parents will take children out of school for holiday

Half of parents will take children out of school for holiday - More than half of parents say they intend to take out their children from school in order to go on holiday, according to a survey.

The survey of 1,000 parents underlined how many felt that the large premium charged by travel companies for flights and hotels during holidays has forced them to take their children away during term time.

As many as 52 per cent of the parents asked said they were thinking of taking their children out of school this summer to save money on a holiday, and 15 per cent of parents had already done so. The survey was undertaken on behalf of gurgle.com, a parenting website.

The survey comes a few months after a separate piece of research suggested that package holidays to sunny locations during the Easter half-term were considerably more expensive than the week before and after.

Parents who take their children on holiday during school term risk a fine from their local authority

One holiday was 269 per cent more expensive, and on average a family of four was paying £1,132 more for their break away during half term, than if they took their children out of school and went two weeks later.

Travel companies say the reason why holidays are less expensive during term time is a simple case of supply and demand, with fewer people wanting or able to travel at these times they are able to lower the price. During the summer holiday demand shoots up, enabling them to put up their prices.

Nifa McLaughlin, editor of gurgle.com, said: “Taking children on holiday can be stressful at the best of times, but when that’s coupled with tighter budgets, it’s no wonder that parents are contemplating taking their kids out of school to save a few pennies and avoid the crowds.

“Holidays abroad are now more of a luxury than ever before, and getting out of the country is going to continue to be expensive for families."

Local authorities brought in a fines system in 2004 ago in an attempt to stop this practice. They can now issue offending parents with a £100 penalty, and some have been known to report the child to social services for truancy, even when the parents have warned the school about what they intend to do.

Nearly 21,000 penalty notices for unauthorised absences were issued in England in the school year 2009-10, a 17 per cent increase from two years previously. ( telegraph.co.uk )

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Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Hits Teens, Too

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Hits Teens, Too -- Chronic fatigue syndrome, often thought to be a condition that only afflicts adults, affects adolescents as well but is often overlooked, according to a new Dutch report in Pediatrics.

Though the syndrome is much less common among teens than adults, it often goes undiagnosed, especially by general practice doctors, according to Dr. S.L. Nijhof, co-author of the report and a physician at Wilhelmina Children's Hospital at the University Medical Center in Utrecht.

Nijhof isn't referring to the tiredness typical of growing, busy teens. "Fatigue is a common complaint among adolescents, with a good prognosis," Nijhof said. "Chronic fatigue syndrome is much less common, but with serious consequences."

Nijhof and fellow researchers collected data from 354 general practitioners in the Netherlands who responded to a national survey focusing on new patients diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, including the prevalence of the condition among their patients, meaning the number of cases at any given time. They also gathered information from a registry that recorded new diagnoses of teen chronic fatigue patients at pediatric hospitals, including the number of new cases a year, or incidence of the condition.

They found that about 1 in 900 teens developed chronic fatigue, which was much lower than in the adult population. The prevalence was 111 per 100,000 teens, and the annual incidence was 12 per 100,000.

However, nearly 75 percent of the teens were not diagnosed by their general practitioner but by a pediatrician or other health-care provider, the study reported.

Of the participating general practitioners, just half said they accepted chronic fatigue syndrome as a distinct diagnosis in their teen patients. By contrast, 96 percent of the doctors from the pediatric departments consulted said they did.

"We want to create awareness among [general practitioners] and support the idea that adolescents with severe fatigue should be referred to a pediatrician," Nijhof said. "Chronic fatigue is much less common [in teens], but with serious consequences."

The survey revealed that 90 percent of teens with the condition had considerable school absences, defined as missing school at least 15 percent of the time.

Dr. Nancy Klimas, director of the Chronic Fatigue Center at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, who treats teens with the condition, said that the study findings ring true.

Parents should be aware, first of all, that the condition can strike teens, she said. "Very frequently it happens after a mononucleosis infection," she said, adding that teens very often return to school and to activities too soon, and that can be linked to triggering chronic fatigue.

Among symptoms of the condition, Klimas said, are pain in muscles and joints, a sore throat and swollen lymph nodes. A teen might wake up still exhausted after a night's sleep. The teen might also have memory or concentration problems, as well as headaches.

And if a teen athlete with the condition returns to sports too quickly, he or she might feel lousy the next day -- something that Klimas called "exercise-induced relapse." That's also a signal to see a pediatrician, she said. ( HealthDay News )

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Middle-Aged Are Unhappiest

Middle-Aged Are Unhappiest - People’s happiness over their lifetime follows a U-shaped curve, with the young and the old the happiest and those in middle age the most unhappy, according to a study cited by The (London) Daily Telegraph.

Young people are carefree and optimistic about their future and dissatisfaction does not begin to kick in until they are in their late 20s, the research indicates.

People over the age of 50 also rated highly on the happiness index, due to their acceptance and satisfaction with their lives.

"A U-shaped happiness curve does not necessarily imply that a 65-year-old prefers his own life to the life of a 25-year-old," said the 29-year-old researcher, Belgium-based economist Bert van Landeghem.

"Both the 25-year-old and 65-year-old might agree that it is nicer to be 25 than to be 65. But the 65-year-old might nevertheless be more satisfied, as he has learned to be satisfied with what he has."

The study found, however, that happiness dropped during middle-age, and the level of unhappiness experienced then could be “the equivalent to becoming unemployed or losing a family member.”

This unhappy period eased from the mid-forties onwards, when people became "more cheerful and optimistic, perhaps reaching a maximum in their late 70s or 80s."

Van Landeghem -- who will present his findings at Royal Holloway, the University of London later this week -- said his findings were not limited to people who lived in the West.

Separately, a survey of 341,000 people by the American National Academy of Sciences found that happiness levels began climbing in the late forties and peaked at age 85.

The study attributed the spike in happiness to good health care and people doing more activities they enjoyed while cutting down on things they disliked.

Middle-aged people, on the other hand, were often burdened by financial and time obligations such as looking after children and caring for their parents. ( foxnews.com )

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Why it's good to be bad

Why it's good to be bad - Want to land the perfect partner? A controversial new book says you'll need to be a diva – not adoormat – to get what you want!

Are you unlucky in love? Or being messed around by a boyfriend who won’t commit? Or does your husband treat you like a doormat?

According to a controversial new book, all of these situations are caused by you being too nice — and it’s time to start acting like, well, a complete diva.

Best-selling author Sherry Argov caused a storm when she wrote her first bestseller, Why Men Love Bitches, in 1997. It was translated into 30 languages, dubbed a self-help classic and still sells extremely well.

Treat him mean, keep him keen: A new book says you have to be tough to get what you want

Now she’s back with a new book that shows women how to transform a casual relationship into a committed one — and the secret lies in ditching the nice girl act and getting tough.

‘Bending over backwards does not bring you the love and attention you crave, but having your own life, your own goals and a backbone will,’ says Sherry.

‘Men secretly respect a woman who is strong, has confidence and has dreams of her own. There’s nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who has dignity and pride in who she is. He marries the woman who won’t lay down on the floor.’

Here, Sherry reveals the key myths about romance — and shows why if you’re looking for love, or just a bit of respect, it’s time to turn from a doormat into a diva . . .

WHY NICE GIRLS FINISH LAST

Ever wondered why, despite putting your best face and foot forward, and treating your dreamboat like a dream, he seems to go for someone smarter, sassier and sexier.

Well, it’s because you’re being too nice, too needy and too desperate. You are making it too obvious your happiness depends on him — and there’s nothing that will make him run away faster.

I’ve interviewed hundreds of men and all of them say what they want most is a strong woman who is secure with her own identity. She is happy giving him ‘space’ because she enjoys hers. She is clear about what she will accept. She’ll back away at the slightest whiff of disrespect and won’t think twice about telling a man where to go. This makes her more exciting. That’s the woman he dreams of marrying.

Work it: Don't give in to him too easily (posed by models)

But when I polled men of all ages, they all said confident women are in very short supply. Is it any wonder? The average fashion magazine tells women to act like a servant to get the perfect man: ‘Here’s a recipe to melt his heart’; ‘ten ways how to win him over in the bedroom ,’ and so on.

What women are learning from this is how to behave desperately, and when her attitude is ‘Pick me! Pick me!’ she hits the kill switch on his desire.

You’d be just as turned off by a guy who brought two dozen roses to a first date and told you he felt like the luckiest man on the planet in the first five minutes. That’s the plight of every ‘nice girl’ who puts her own needs last.

Well, it’s time to explode some ‘nice girl’ myths.

NICE GIRL MYTH ONE: YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT

Think about the last time you were madly in love. Chances are the guy wasn’t a millionaire or a brain surgeon with a six-pack. But there was something special about him. He had a couple of features that did it for you and a certain magic that made you tingle. Men are looking for that same magic.

Women think that if they are perfect, beautiful and rich, they will get the respect and love they crave. But a man doesn’t marry a woman who is perfect, he marries the woman who is interesting.

When a man meets a woman who seems too perfect, too sweet, or too agreeable, he tends to become bored very quickly.

A man will spot quickly that you’re putting on an act and think you’re trying to trap him or you’re insecure. Neither are good traits. He might stick around for a few months to see how high you’ll jump for him — but it’ll be temporary.

As for looking perfect, interestingly, almost all the men I spoke to said they rarely pay attention to a woman’s flaws until she points them out. Sophia Loren said: ‘Beauty is how you feel inside and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.’

MYTH TWO: YOU HAVE TO BE HIS SEX TOY

We are constantly told amazing sex will win a man’s heart. This is false. Just because a man sleeps with you doesn’t mean he cares about you.

Nor will good sex make him care. And once a man categorises you as ‘sex only’, he won’t see anything beyond that.

WICKED WAYS

In a recent survey, 35 per cent of men said they prefer so-called 'bad girls'

And first impressions start with your clothes. When a man sees revealing clothes he’ll think you have nothing else going for you.

That doesn’t mean the men won’t break their neck to look at a woman who is showing a lot of skin. But at the same time they’ll pass judgment: ‘short-term only’.

When you cover up with a fitted blouse or a long skirt with a slit, he thinks ‘I have to work to get this’, and your stock goes up.

Conversely, when he sees you scantily dressed, he thinks of all the other men you’ve slept with. This is a sensitive area. Men are insecure about how many other lovers you’ve had, especially if they’re thinking of marriage.

Some even admitted to me they have a magic number in their heads when they ask how many men you’ve been with. Anything more than can be counted on one hand is too many.

MYTH THREE: YOU HAVE TO BE WHAT HE WANTS YOU TO BE

The nice girl meets a guy and acts like she joined a cult. In the beginning, a guy might ask her what she likes. The nice girl makes the mistake of shrugging her shoulders and saying: ‘I like anything you like.’

But what she’s getting across is: ‘I’ll take you any way I can have you — even if you give me crumbs.’

When a man likes you, he will be interested in finding out what you like and want to make it happen.

If he makes you happy, he feels more secure.

Everything men do is intended to impress women — whether it’s going to the Moon, becoming a rock star, or driving a nice car. The Taj Mahal was built for a woman. The toys, the homes, the power suits — it’s all designed to impress a woman. Be that woman. ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Why it's good to be bad

Hot Women Don't Want to Pay for Dinner

Hot Women Don't Want to Pay for Dinner - It's a down economy. Men would rather go dutch on a date. Guys, I have bad news. The more attractive your date is (yes!), the less likely she's going to help cover the dinner bill (d'oh!).

A British study — naturally — reveals that hot women don't think they should have to pay on a date.

Less attractive women are more willing to chip in. Why?

Pretty girls put all that time and effort into looking good and figure they bring more to the table at dinner.

"The intriguing finding comes from a study of 416 men and women who were asked to rate themselves for attractiveness, ahead of going on a series of hypothetical dates." Ah, they rated themselves on their looks. So a woman whom you and I might consider so-so, but who thinks of herself as the next Heidi Klum, will have the confidence to say, "You are one lucky dude to be with me," and order another lemon drop. On your dime. Meantime, a drop-dead gorgeous gal who can't stand the sight of herself in the mirror will just be glad you're talking to her.

Robert Kohlhuber

Men in the study agreed that they would be more willing to pay the total bill for a good-looking date, though men who considered themselves handsome were less inclined to do so. Perfect. Barbie and Ken deserve each other.

Who should really pay on a date? The article consulted etiquette experts who say the person who requested the date must cover the cost.

I have a different question. If an attractive woman expects a man to pay for dinner, what does the man expect in return? Ah, my friends, they didn't cover that in the survey, but I think we know the answer.

Which leads me to another shocking headline: Sex Can Kill You. Or at least give you a coronary. Tufts researchers found that sudden bursts of activity — like sex — make it 2.7 times more likely someone will have a heart attack. Exactly how did they monitor and measure that?? Still, frazzled housewives now have a better excuse for bowing out for the night than coming down with a headache.

However, take heart. Your chances of avoiding a heart attack during sex improve if you get regular exercise. Here's one unusual way to do that. I don't mean to cast the first stone, but... pole dancing for Jesus? ( cnbc.com )

READ MORE - Hot Women Don't Want to Pay for Dinner

Florida pastor oversees Quran burning

Florida pastor oversees Quran burning - The controversial Florida pastor who halted plans to burn a Quran on the 9/11 anniversary last year oversaw the burning of the Islamic holy book on Sunday after it was found "guilty" during a "trial" at his church.

"We had a court process," said Pastor Terry Jones, who acted as judge, in a phone interview. "We tried to set it up as fair as possible, which you can imagine, of course, is very difficult."

Jones said about 30 people attended the mock trial at his Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville.

Jones considered the "International Judge the Quran Day" to be a fairer way of addressing the Islamic holy book, and denied breaking earlier promises not to burn a Quran.

If the jury had reached a different conclusion, Jones said he would have issued an apology for his accusations that the Quran promotes violence.

"We still don't feel that we broke our word — that was in relationship to International Burn a Quran Day," he said, referring to his previous plan to burn a pile of Qurans on the 9/11 anniversary to protest plans for an Islamic community center near Ground Zero. "We would not establish another International Burn a Quran Day."

Last year's aborted event provoked criticism from U.S. religious leaders, violent protests abroad and pressure from President Obama and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates before Jones called it off.

After a six-hour trial on Sunday that featured a Christian convert from Islam as a prosecuting attorney and a Dallas imam as a defense lawyer, a jury of 12 church members and volunteers made the judgment, Jones said.

He said the punishment — burning the book after it had been soaked in kerosene for an hour — was determined from four choices on his organization's Facebook page. He said "several hundred" were polled and voted for burning over shredding, drowning and facing a firing squad.

Jones considered the burning — which was conducted by another pastor since Jones was serving as the judge — a one-time event.

"That is not our intention, to run around America burning Qurans," he said.

Jones has launched a new organization, Stand Up America, and plans to protest the Quran, Shariah law and "radical Islam," and has scheduled an April event in front of an Islamic center in Dearborn, Mich.

Ibrahim Hooper, a spokesman for the Council on American-Islamic Relations, declined to comment at length about Jones' trial.

"Terry Jones had his 15 minutes of fame and we're not going to help him get another few minutes," he said. ( usatoday.com )

READ MORE - Florida pastor oversees Quran burning